books

Advent Reflections from the Valley of the Shadow of Death

This Sunday marks the first Sunday of Advent, the season of anticipation that leads up to Christmas. Last year, I wrote a post about why Advent isn’t a season of peace and joy, but one of holy longing.

“People are angry about the injustice in the world, disappointed with circumstances in their own lives, or frustrated with their own busyness. All of this disillusionment seems to center on the idea that this is not how the Christmas season should be. I’ve seen a lot of comments along the lines of, ‘This is supposed to be a season of joy, a season of peace, a season of contentment and closeness to our families, a season of celebration.’

I think we may have gotten it wrong.

I don’t think Advent is primarily about peace and joy and all the other warm and fuzzies we think we’re meant to feel. I think Advent is about longing.

It is about longing for a world that is not broken. Longing for justice for the victims of terrorist attacks and police brutality. Longing for restored relationships with our families. Longing for a world where people cannot be bought and sold as commodities. Longing for comfort for the friend who has lost her child. Longing for rest from a world that is moving so fast we feel like if we pause for a moment we’ll get left behind. It is about longing for the hope that we are not abandoned.

Most of us are very uncomfortable with longing. We live in an instant-gratification world, one where it is unacceptable for a need to go unmet or a wish to go unfulfilled, so when we feel emptiness in ourselves, we rush to fill it. Sometimes the desire to satiate longing manifests itself in materialism – the need for the next new thing. Sometimes it shows up in our relationships and we use and abuse other people in our desire to satisfy our longings.

My own attitude towards longing is usually, ‘How can I make this go away?’ But I think we have two choices when it comes to longing – we can lament the discomfort we feel and try to make the feelings go away, or we can embrace those longings and let them change the way we live and love.”

Last week I had the privilege of reading and reviewing Stephanie Ebert’s short collection of Advent reflections, In the Valley of the Shadow, Light Has Dawned: Advent Thoughts in the Wandering. The collection has 5 short readings for each week leading up to Christmas. All I can say is that Steph gets it. As a South African-American she has spent her life in places broken by racism and in desperate need of social justice. In the introduction to the book she writes:

“Like all Christian celebrations, Advent is acknowledging darkness and remembering light. It’s celebrating and it’s waiting. It’s sweet, but there’s still a trace of bitterness.”

She goes on to say, “If you’re looking for some feel-good Christmas spirit, I apologize: this is not the book for you. But if you’re wandering, or wondering, or grieving, or hurting, or angry, or confused, or fed-up, or used up, maybe there’s something in here for you.”

Each week has a theme with five short readings (except for the last week, which has only two because, as Steph says, “Nobody has time right before Christmas”).

Week One: The Land Where Death Casts His Shadow
“We’re still living in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, but we have a bit of light now.”
Week Two: God With Us: The Incarnation
“God-with-us wasn’t tainted by the common-ness /of skin and flesh and bones./He made skin and flesh and bones holy.”
Week Three: Peace: Wholeness
“But Jesus does everything upside-down. The Kingdom is like a tiny mustard seed, not a machine-gun.”
Week Four: Light Has Shined: Hope in the Face of Darkness
“When we spend our time creating and celebrating the good, we cry out to all the hurt people in the world: This is the way it is supposed to be!”

If you’re looking for a way to acknowledge darkness and still celebrate light, this little book will resonate with you. With discussion questions at the end of each section, it’s a great resource for a small group or a family. But mostly, Steph’s writing is beautiful and her stories and poems and ramblings are worth reflecting on. You can order it here or go over to Steph’s blog for more information about her and her writing.

Full Disclosure: I was provided a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. I am not under any obligation to review it for you here and have chosen to do so because I genuinely loved it.

What I’m Into: October 2015 Edition

Time just keeps slipping away from me, but better late than never! Linking up with Leigh Kramer for a belated October round-up.

Oh, October, what a roller coaster you were! October is usually one of my favorite months of the year, but this particular October has been a strange one. At the beginning of this month my town was hit with a flood of epic proportions and while we were relatively unaffected, everything in our lives turned topsy-turvy for a while. All of our normal activities were cancelled and we were holed up in our condo for about a week waiting for the water to recede and the roads to be safe again.

On top of all of the flooding craziness we signed a lease on a new place and are moved into it last Sunday. Yet again, my whole life is piled up in boxes all around me and this time I lack the excitement over being back in America that got me through the last move. I am hopeful (oh so hopeful) that this new place will be semi-permanent for the rest of our three years in Columbia, but I’m learning not to hold onto anything too tightly.

What I’ve Been Reading:

I finally finished State of Wonder by Ann Patchett, a book that had been on my “to-read” list for years. It’s a beautiful book, though I understand criticisms of it trying to do too much. There’s a lot going on there. Dr. Marina travels to the Amazon to investigate the death of a colleague who passed away under mysterious circumstances while researching an indigenous tribe whose women have the unique ability to continue reproducing up until they die.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and Other Lessons from the Crematorium by Caitlin Doughty. This book of essays about Doughty’s experience as a young woman working in a crematorium was fascinating. In spite of some frank descriptions, she manages to avoid sensationalism and instead brings up questions about the way we as a society treat death and whether there might be a better way. It’s an interesting read, though if you are sensitive to blunt medical-type descriptions it may not be for you.

Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I believe Mindy Kaling is my spirit animal. I think she is smart, fun, and funny and I would love to be her friend. Therefore, I loved this book which I read with her voice in my head.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I had to read this because so many people were losing their minds over it. I have to say, I was not impressed. I did pick up a few helpful tips, but overall I found the book to be incredibly repetitive and also pretty weird. While I like to personify my possessions and talk to inanimate objects as much as the next girl, Kondo takes it to another level. She suggests thanking your belongings before getting rid of them and goes so far as to give this advice about storing your out-of-season clothes, “Let them know you care and look forward to wearing them when they are next in season. This kind of ‘communication’ helps your clothes stay vibrant and keeps your relationship with them alive longer.” Too much, Marie. A little too much.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. I like listening to books of personal essays as audiobooks because they are usually read by the author so you get a better sense of their tone and personality. I think Sedaris can be very funny, though he is also sometimes pretty strange. I liked some of the later essays, the ones that talked about his life in France and struggle to learn French (hence the title), the most.

Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome by Reba Riley. I had such mixed feelings about this. I wish the author had gone into more detail about what her negative church experience. She talks about being raised in the church and her parents’ divorce when she was 19 devastating her, but I didn’t totally understand her own faith crisis. Since I wasn’t sure what had happened or why she felt so negatively towards church and Christianity it was hard for me to interpret her explorations. She also seems to end up with the belief that all religions and beliefs are equal paths to God, which I’m not sure I’m on board with. At the same time, I appreciated her open-hearted exploration of different religions and religious traditions and willingness to learn from each of them.

Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. I also audiobooked this one. Although I love Amy Poehler, I didn’t like this one as much as I’ve loved other similar books. There were parts of it I really liked, but there were also parts I found boring, unnecessarily vulgar, or just not very entertaining. Sorry, Amy. I still really like you, but this one was only a 3 out of 5 for me.

I have read 53 books so far this year which puts me ahead of pace for my goal of 60.

What I’ve Been Watching:

We went to see The Martian and Steve Jobs in theaters this month. I loved The Martian though it continues to confirm all of my fears about space. (You could not pay me enough to go to space. So stop asking). I thought Steve Jobs was an interesting and well-made movie, but it made me hate actual Steve Jobs the person which was unfortunate. To be honest, it felt like a bit of a one-dimensional portrayal of him. But I’ve never met him so who knows, maybe that’s accurate.

On TV (well, Netflix) we discovered and watched the first season of How to Get Away With Murder which I like a lot in spite of what feels to me like an exceptional amount of weird sexual relationships. We’ve only watched the first two episodes of the current season though so no spoilers, please! We’re also watching the current seasons of Brooklyn Nine Nine and Fresh Off the Boat, both of which I’m enjoying, and trying to find places to stream The Mindy Project since we don’t have HuluPlus (I know, I know, first world problems).

What I’ve Been Eating:

Way too much. Like, it’s a problem. Officially going on a diet for the next couple of weeks to detox myself before the holidays. One thing that has been absolutely lovely has been women from my Bible study bringing meals for us while we’ve been working on moving in. That has been a huge blessing and also delicious. 🙂

What I’ve Been Writing:

We made it through week 43 of my 52 Weeks of Adventure which means there are less than ten left to go. I wrote about this month’s adventures here, here, here and here. I also wrote about What’s Saving My Life Right Now which includes fall candles and IKEA cinnamon rolls. My favorite piece this month was the guest post I wrote for Lindsay Smallwood at Songbird and a Nerd about my experience singing karaoke with my Korean coworkers.

I also wrote several articles for Modernize, a website with all kinds of information on renovations, decor, and other great info for homeowners. If you have a minute to click over to my articles, I’d really appreciate the support! They want me to share everything on my social media when it gets published, but it’s not the kind of thing I normally write and share so most of my regular readers don’t really care. 😉 My contract for Modernize runs out in two weeks and I’m not sure if they will be keeping me on or not.

Winterizing Your Deck

Budget Friendly Places to Shop for Home Decor

Nanowrimo started this week and I still have too much unpacking to do to be able to fully commit. Any of you doing it?

What I’ve Been Up To:

It rained a lot this month, but in between there were a couple gorgeous fall days. Unfortunately we couldn’t get out as much as I would’ve liked due to roads and businesses still being closed for some time after the storm. I was able to substitute teach for six days in the past few weeks, something I enjoy and that certainly helps with the finances. I’ve also got a new student that I tutor who has recently moved here from China and realized that his English isn’t quite where it needs to be for him to perform at grade level. I work with him three days/week now.

In spite of the flooding and the moving, we did have some fun outings as well. We went to the state fair with friends and I had the chance to go to New York with my sister, basically for free since my parents generously gave us their rewards miles and hotel points. It was awesome.

And then, of course, we moved.

We’re planning to see my in-laws for Thanksgiving, which is amazingly only three weeks away! I’m hopeful I’ll be able to do some more writing here this month. I have a whole list of posts I want to write, but blogging always seems to take a back burner to everything else going on. Thanks to everyone who has stuck around through all of the transitions!

What have you been into?

What I’m Into: September 2015 Edition

September has been a month of high highs and low lows. Korea feels like a million years away and I miss it more than I could have possibly anticipated. September has felt both impossibly long and incredibly short and I’ve vacillated wildly between feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do and feeling unable to do anything at all. We’re settling in more and more every day, but it still doesn’t quite feel normal.

As usual, I’m linking up with Leigh Kramer to share what I’ve been into this month.

What I’m Reading:

Guys. The library. That thing is amazing.

Days of Blood and Starlight by Lanie Taylor. This is the second book in the Daughter of Smoke and Bone Trilogy. These books are intense. And fascinating. I’m completely sold on this YA fantasy trilogy about love and war and revenge and what it means to dream the world new.

Selfish Shallow and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on Their Decision Not to Have Kids by Megan Daum. This was the book that earned me some alarmed looks from the librarian. It’s hard to give an overall impression of this book because there are 16 separate essays written by 16 individuals. Some of the essays I really appreciated and resonated with. Some I didn’t like at all. One thing that was interesting to me was that the vast majority of the writers were not people who had never wanted to have children. Most of them were people whose interest in reproduction waned over time, who became busy with other things, who didn’t have a willing partner, or who were otherwise unable. In some ways it was more a book about being content with not having children than it was about coming to the decision not to have them. Regardless, I found many of the perspectives in this book interesting and I certainly resonated with some of them (though not all).

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. I actually listened to this as an audiobook and I think the audiobook is the way to go on this one. It’s read by the author who not only has a fantastic dramatic voice, but he does all of the voices and accents of the characters which brings this strange, fantastical story to life.

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart. This book tells the story of Cadence Sinclair Eastman, a member of the distinguished Sinclair family whose greatest ambition is to be sure to always appear as if everything is perfect. Every year Cadie and her cousins spend the summer on their grandfather’s island. The call themselves “The Liars” and they are inseparable. Until Summer Fifteen when a mysterious accident leaves Cadie with chronic headaches and a gaping hole in her memory. This is a very quick read that’s become pretty popular, but to me it was only OK. (I listened to this as an audiobook on my way back and forth to Raleigh).

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery . I finally read this book which has been on my To Read list for ages! This is entirely thanks to the generosity of my reader, Duncan, who sent me his copy in the mail so I would have no more excuses. This is a tiny little book that is packed with meaning. It’s one of those rare books that children will enjoy for the basic story line and adorable illustrations while adults will pick up on the underlying commentary about life, human nature, and the differences between childhood and adulthood.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray Love). I just finished this today so it only just made it into September books. I’d love to do a full review of this book because I thought some of Gilbert’s ideas were so important. If you are a creator of some sort, I think this book has value for you. If you are the type of person who is bothered by someone speaking about creativity and inspiration is divine and mystical terms, than this book might irritate you. This book explores the paradoxes of the creative life – that creating art is vital to our humanity, and also completely inessential to human existence. That we should commit ourselves seriously to our creative work, and we should always remember that life and death do not hinge on what we do creatively. Most of all, it reminds the reader of why a creative life is a worthwhile life even if you never receive any kind of recognition for your work.

Currently reading: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett, Washing the Dead by Michelle Brafman, Shopaholic to the Stars by Sophie Kinsella. Follow me on Goodreads for more reviews.

What I’m Watching:

The onslaught of fall shows is about to hit, but lately Jonathan and I have been sticking to Frasier re-runs, I’ve made it to season 3 of my Gossip Girl re-watch and picked up The Good Wife again. We watched the movie Stardust together one date night (cause I’m on a bit of a Neil Gaiman kick) but I don’t think we saw any new releases. We did watch the first two episodes of How to Get Away With Murder earlier this week and I’m absolutely hooked. Can’t wait to get caught up!

What I’m Listening To:

Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Magic Lessons” podcast which is a sort of companion to her book Big Magic (though it works perfectly well on its own). For the podcast, Gilbert wanted to put a very practical spin on some of the things she wrote about in her book so she speaks with 5 creators (two writers, a musician, a painter, and a photographer who wants to be a podcast maker) who are feeling stuck in their creative lives for one reason or another. In one episode she will talk to that person about what’s holding them back and give them some advice and in the next episode she will call another (famous) friend of hers to discuss the case with them and get their input. She speaks to Cheryl Strayed, Ann Patchett, and Rob Bell, among others.

If you only listen to one episode of this whole podcast, listen to the last one (Episode 12) which is just a conversation between Gilbert and Brene Brown (author of Daring Greatly which I reviewed here and her new book Rising Strong).

What I’m Eating:

I know September was a little early for this, but ALL THE PUMPKIN THINGS!!!! Pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin cake with cinnamon cream cheese icing and pumpkin ravioli and pumpkin butter. I also made this very fall-themed spiced apple pork chop recipe last week and it was delicious. Now if only the weather would get on board with this whole fall thing.

Spiced Apple Pork Chops via: Budget Bytes

Follow me on Pinterest for more recipes and Instagram for more of what I’m eating (and other things!)

What I’m Writing:

I picked up a freelance job for the website Modernize this month. I’ve got an 8-week assignment with them for now writing various articles about home decor. This isn’t my usual genre but I’m enjoying doing something different (and being paid for it!) If you want to check out some of my articles you can click on the links below. My ongoing assignments are dependent on the number of views my articles bring in so I would greatly appreciate your clicking over, even just for a skim.

Creating a Home That Reflects Who You Are and Where You’ve Been

4 Small Decorating Changes That Can Make a Big Impact

Blogging has been a little sporadic, but I’ve kept up with my 52 Weeks of Adventure with weeks 36, 37, 38, and 39. I wrote about my reverse culture shock and about chronic homesickness. And I wrote about my new appreciation for the Lord’s Prayer and what it means to ask for Daily Bread when provision feels scarce.