What Happens When You Go Viral: On Wanting to Give Up

I recently found out that the hit count on my Relevant article back in June was over 1.6 million. The editor told me it was the second-biggest traffic day in the history of their website. That’s mind-boggling to me.

If you had asked me a year ago what I thought it would mean to have a piece get that much exposure, I would have assumed it would be my big break. That it would boost my blog, lead to freelance opportunities, help connect me to the right people. That it would be my open door into the world of professional writing and publishing. That it would bring me validation and satisfaction. It would reassure me that what I’m doing here isn’t pointless and that my story matters.

Do you want to know the truth?

It hasn’t done any of those things. For a few weeks I received a lot of emails and messages from people thanking me for my story. I got to write a few guest posts on the topic. But no one has offered me a job and I haven’t landed an agent. 1.6 million people read something I wrote and my blog still has fewer than 200 followers. (If that’s not discouraging, I don’t know what is). And as much as I would love to say I don’t care about any of that, in the world of professional writing ( by which I mean writing in some capacity that pays the bills) numbers are what matter. How many subscribers do you have? How many followers on Twitter?

All I’ve ever really wanted to do since I was in kindergarten is to be a writer. I’ve tried other things and I’ve cultivated other interests, but writing is the only thing that has consistently excited me. I’m under no illusions that I could make a career out of blogging, but I would love to have enough paid work as a writer to support my family while doing something I love. And, like most writers, I would love to write a book someday. But these past few months I’ve become more and more convinced that I am not cut out for what “being a writer” means today.

Being a successful writer is no longer about craft or talent or art. It’s not about having the deepest insights or the most profound observations to share. It’s often simply about who can shout the loudest. Like high school student council elections, success in the blogosphere is a popularity contest. It’s about who is the most provocative, who is the most visible on social media, who is the most aggressively self-promoting.

I admit that I’ve dipped my toe into that pool. This summer I (very reluctantly) got a Twitter account. I hate it. I almost deleted it within 30 minutes of registering. I’ve tried to network with other bloggers, to write and invite guest posts, to comment other places, to submit pieces to other publications. But pursuing self-promotion doesn’t feel right to me. Reading someone else’s posts and looking for ways to insert myself and my work into the comments goes against some of my core values of sincerity and authenticity. These are things I’m not willing to compromise on.

In my last “What I’m Into” post I confessed that I’d been reading like a chain-smoker, using other people’s words to try to hide from own. I’ve read a few posts about this struggle lately (here and here ). Honestly, I was a little shocked and disheartened. One of my friends is working on a book and has landed a really great agent. One has a completed manuscript she’s starting to send around. I look at them and think, “If only I had an agent…” or “If only I had a finished manuscript…” Perhaps they look at me and think, “If only I had a million-view article…” And yet, we seem to have hit a collective wall. We are all struggling to feel that what we are doing matters.

I confess that I frequently get angry with popular and successful writers whose blogs I find poorly written and uninspiring. I don’t believe in quantity over quality – in pushing points that don’t need to be made just to generate content. There are a million voices out there and there are many moments when I don’t think the world really needs mine. If all I’m doing is adding to the noise then I’d rather be silent.

I want my writing to be about creating something beautiful—about art and passion and sincere wrestling with (sometimes fragile) faith. I want it to be about telling truths and naming every day grace. I want it to matter.

I’ve been rolling a book idea around in my head for at least eight months. There are some stories I want to tell, but I am afraid. This stage I’m in as a writer is one where I carve off a chunk of my heart and fling it out into the world and watch it disappear into the distance without even the consolation of hearing an echo back to let me know I hit something.

I am afraid of failing, yes, but here is an uglier truth. I am also afraid of hard work. Or rather, I am afraid of hard work that goes unrecognized and unappreciated. I am afraid of 1.6 million people who say, “Your words don’t matter.”

I want to give up.

And yet, I can’t quite do it. I can’t completely walk away. Because this space has changed me. In some ways it is healing me. I’ve made friends here. I’ve found a tiny community of artists who are fighting to say something true. These people inspire me. And I’ve experienced moments of extraordinary grace from readers, some whom I’ve never even met in real life, who have sent encouraging emails and have shared their own stories, who have sent me articles and books that are dear to them, and even one who bought the most beautiful cook book I’ve ever seen and mailed it all the way to Korea.

Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

I’ve never been rich or famous, but I can tell you that as a writer, having an article go viral is not the answer. And it seems that having an agent or finishing a manuscript is not the answer. Satisfaction and conviction that this work is good and that it is worth doing has to come from somewhere else.

I don’t know what the next few months will look like here on the blog, but I’m committed to trying to figure this out. Should I write? Should I not write? What should I write? And why? And for whom?  Hopefully I will find a way forward–a way to be able to do what I love without compromising the kind of person I want to be.

___________

****EDIT: I just wanted to add a  note letting you all know how much I appreciate all of the kind and supportive comments I’ve been receiving on this post and for all of the new followers. I am really overwhelmed by your generosity and support. Online interactions can sometimes be so negative and all of your kind words have really touched me. I may not be able to respond to each and every comment, but please know that I’ve read every word and I appreciate them. I know I’ll come back to them in moments of discouragement. I’ll be checking out a lot of your blogs over the weekend. There’s a phrase we use in Korea that means “Don’t give up! You can do it!” It more or less translates to “Fighting!” in English.  So to all of my fellow writers, artists, and creators, “Fighting!”

Image source: Wikipedia.org

 

956 comments

  1. Like most here I wanted to say that I agree with you. I hate the fact that those that are being seen as popular are most times the ones that have the loudest voice even though they have nothing really to offer.

    Your post made me a follower just because we share the same views. I’d be heartbroken having an article receive 1.6 million views and yet nothing remotely close to that happening to my blog.

    I look forward to many more posts from you.

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and for understanding! I didn’t mean to come off as a whiner after something as amazing as 1.6 million views. That really was undeserved and mind-blowing. But it really showed me that sometimes we have this idea of what will make us successful built up in our minds and it’s just not reality. Thanks so much for following and for supporting me. I really appreciate it.

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  2. Thank you again for writing this post… I wanted to add that your vulnerability has been so very inspiring for me and so many!

    I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

    If you would like to accept please follow the link below! Keep up the great work! Dr. Dee~

    Very Inspiring Blogger Award

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    1. Dr. Dee! Thank you, that’s so kind. I’m really touched that you thought of me. I don’t know if it’s too late for me to respond to this – sorry I got so behind on responding to all of my comments, but I will hopefully be caught up after today. I appreciate your encouragement and your support!

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  3. Very eye opening posts into your own life, and all very well written. I think that’s probably where your strength is: writing about yourself, but I think you should take some time to ask yourself some questions. Reason I say this is because you talk about a job, but is it that you want a job? Or you want someone to give you a job? You don’t want to compromise your writing for success and sell out, that’s great. You’ve obviously built a large following up until now, but where do you want to go? Do you want to continue discussing religion? You talk about fear of hard work that goes unnoticed. Is it fear that it’s going to be unnoticed by lots of people? Or never seen by anyone? Or do you think your work might not live up to the 1.6million viewers of your claim to fame?

    Personally I think your writing is very good, and almost perfect for the blogosphere as you probably know. I also think you could probably get a job if you applied and wrote about these in your resume. But what’s stopping you, I’m not sure….

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    1. Thanks for reading and for your insightful questions. I’m in a state of limbo right now in terms of a career. I currently work full-time as an elementary school English teacher in Korea and I will be here for 8 more months. After that, my contract is over and I will be heading somewhere else, probably back to the US. I will need a new job and what I would most like to do is something with my writing. Before moving to Korea, I had the opportunity to interview for what I considered my dream job – managing the blog and other social media for World Relief, a non-profit I support. The job involved traveling internationally to places where World Relief has a presence to write about their work. It was all of my interests rolled into one (travel, culture, writing, international development). At the time I was told that while they loved my writing, they really needed to hire someone who had managed a bigger blog, had proven themselves in gaining a following, etc. So during my time here in Korea I’ve kept that in the back of my mind. While I don’t think I would end up with that exact job I think there are others like it that would appeal to me. These are faith-based institutions that also have donors and supporters who are not religious. My blog is personal and much of it has to do with faith, but mostly I am trying to work out my own faith here in a way that shows people are interested in what I have to say – both people who share my background and those who don’t.

      What I learned from applying to that job was that it wasn’t my skills that were lacking, it was my stats. So, that’s a long story to say that my blog is something I write for myself to wrestle with my own faith and life questions – but I do it publicly as a blog in the hopes that it will touch others and that it will eventually be a platform to show potential employers that I can be successful at impacting people. So, you’re right that being a successful blogger and getting a job are different things, but that’s how they’re connected in my mind.

      Thanks for reading and for your kind words about my writing. I appreciate your encouragement and support!

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  6. Reblogged this on Meg In Writing and commented:
    I have to admit, reading this post made me feel a little better. I’ve had so many ups and downs and discouragement when it comes to my writing…. everything from people telling me to get a “real job” and others telling me “Meg, the only thing you can do with a degree in English is teach.” The only encouragement I’ve had has come from other writers or my college English teachers. Literally everyone else has laughed at me when I told them I want to be a writer.

    I DID give up for a while. I’m trying not to do that again. I’m trying to build my confidence back up. That being said… it’s hard. It’s terrifying. I’m reaching the end of my degree program and I’m facing this intense fear of “what if this degree is for nothing? What if I never put it to use?”

    When all you have ever wanted to do is write and you feel like the world is telling you it’s impossible, it’s hard to keep going. You have to persevere, even though the odds seem stacked against you. Even if no one believes in you, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Just keep going. You’ll get there someday.

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  7. Hi SSH,

    I wanted to be a photographer. I was untrained, didn’t even subscribe to photography magazines. I just wanted without any knowledge or experience to go with it. Disaster in the making! 🙂

    So, whilst I ranted and raved about wanting – and my friends and family counseled me to undertake a course or at least study or read something on the subject (‘Show the Universe you’re committed“, being one piece of advice, many times over – but then, I’ve a lot of hippy pals)

    I just started taking photographs. Day after day, subject after subject. People, landscapes, animals.. I used an iPhone. I didn’t stop. Some were dreadful images. Ok, most were dreadful images but I started to get noticed.

    I didn’t have a wealth of Social Media platforms – just a personal Facebook page, with way less than 1,000 pals (that’s still true to this day)

    I don’t know why – and it probably wasn’t appropriate – but I started to introduce myself as a photographer. I assumed it as my ID. And people started to treat and talk to me as a photographer. It grew.

    From outside the life, it looked like my career took off from nothing – those months and years of endless images, long forgotten…
    That still makes me smile wryly to this day.

    Write, be a writer (hopefully for yourself rather than anyone else) and I shall sit back and await, with a quiet smile, for your success!
    My best to you. Cat xxXxx

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    1. Thank you, Cat. Congratulations on becoming a photographer. I have always been hesitant to call myself a writer because the inevitable next question is, “What have you written?” But I’m also a firm believer in creating the life you want to live instead of just wishing yours was different. I’m really inspired by your story. Thanks for sharing it. From now on I am going to try to unapologetically call myself a writer. 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration!

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  10. Couldn’t agree more. It can be overwhelmingly irritating when written work that is lacking in quality and talent is being popularized, and the ambitious and hard-working writer is left to fight for his or her chance at becoming noticed. And, as I’ve noticed, similar situations occur in the music and acting industry. It’s truly disappointing how it’s not even about the art anymore; it’s all about publicity and who you know. You and I have similar desires for our writing: passionate and beautiful. I also want to write a book, but as an earlier commenter stated, it’s 10% about the creating and 90% about the marketing. And that’s what scares me.

    My advice would be to never give up. Writing is obviously something you love to do, so the last thing you’d want to do is abandon it because of discouragement. Work hard, practice a ton, connect with other writers and get your name out there! Just don’t, under any circumstances, give up your writing!

    – Connor

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    1. Thanks, Connor. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this. I hope you also continue to write things that are passionate and beautiful and that you succeed in writing that book. It is hard and so, so scary sometimes. But I think we can be brave together. Thank you so much for your encouragement.

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  13. I really enjoyed reading about your experiences with writing and with your audience! Something similar happened to me, on a MUCH smaller scale. I’d been contentedly puttering along for five years, writing quirky posts about anything I liked, with my mother-in-law as my only regular reader. One day, I suddenly got 440 views because an Australian Christian women’s conference had linked to one of my posts on their Facebook page. My contentment evaporated. I instantly started stressing over my content, struggling to find subjects to please my new audience, scrambling to keep them coming back. And what happened? Despite the fact that lots of people shared and retweeted the link to my blog, the net result was one new follower.

    One.

    Lesson learned; humble pie gratefully consumed.

    Incidentally, I look forward to following your blog. 🙂

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    1. Haha. Yes, I totally relate to this! Especially what you said about suddenly feeling stressed and worried about content and posting often enough and if people like what they’re reading. Which is so silly because the reason people liked the post in the first place was because they liked what you were already writing about, haha. But yes, every time I have a guest post somewhere or something that means new reader might visit my blog I have this moment of panic about whether or not my most recent posts are interesting enough. 🙂 Thanks for reading and following. I read some bits on your blog and feel like we have a lot in common. One of my favorite things about blogging are the new friends you make along the way. 🙂

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      1. Thank YOU for reading and following as well! I sensed we had a lot in common when I read that you love Disney and hate Twitter and when I skimmed through your book list. Peace Like a River, The Poisonwood Bible, Middlemarch, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and The Distant Hours? Clearly a kindred spirit. 🙂

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    1. Yes, I have, but I only have 133 Twitter followers, so at this point it doesn’t help a ton. Although being Freshly Pressed has been a huge blessing for gaining some new readers.

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  15. I understand your frustration, but if writing is what you love, you will write for an audience of 2 people, or 2 million people. I have one published novel, it sold less than 100 copies, but the fact that I even published was amazing! Keep at it. If writing is what you love, it will show, and people will love your work 🙂

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    1. I also think the fact that you published it is amazing! I am daunted by the amount of work it takes to complete a book. Congratulations. And thank you for reading and for your encouragement. Good luck with your writing!

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      3. I made myself sit down and write 2 hours a day, no matter what, from an outline. Now I am hooked and can’t wait to get to it. I started by getting up early. Now my computer calls out to me, interfering with other things I’m trying to get done. Try to find something that works for you.

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      4. That’s really incredible. I admire your ability to carve out that time. I wish that I had flexible work hours because I am very much a morning person and do my best work in the morning, but since I start my job relatively early in the morning there’s only so much time for me to write, even when i wake up quite early. I do want to make it more of a priority by carving out a specific time for writing. It’s one of my goals for 2015. 🙂

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      6. I forgot to tell you, I recently retired. It was harder to find time when I was working. I wrote instead of watching TV at night and on breaks at work, but you probably still have family demands. That is challenging.

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      7. It is challenging, but I know that people do manage it. 🙂 I do still think it’s about prioritizing. I do most of blog writing on days when I don’t teach classes until the afternoons. Those days I try to do all of my lesson prep ahead of time so that I get to work with a few hours before my first class and nothing that i have to scramble to get done and that’s very helpful. But of course, my schedule doesn’t allow for that everyday. I don’t get much writing done in the evenings, possibly from laziness, but also because it really takes a lot of energy and sometimes I just don’t feel that I have enough to give after working all day and coming home and cooking and cleaning up, etc. I know it’s just to complaints of ordinary life, but it’s amazing how easy it is to let those things keep me from doing even something I’m really passionate about.

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      8. Physical demands can totally sap your intellect. I was a nurse for 30 years. Some days I’d come home so tired I couldn’t eat when I got in. I’d just shower, read 15 minutes in bed, and sleep.

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      10. I was married with 2 children. My husband did no housework, cooking, or shopping. He did yard work, house and vehicle maintenance, budgeting, and bill paying. We were both maxed out.

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  18. Right there with you..well, not the 1.6 million part (congrats on that), but in regards to why am I writing. So frustrated with the publishing process, my last blog was my Christian novel, and I took it down to start re-writing (again, I’m not sure what I’m hoping for). I started a new blog just in the last week or so, but daily I struggle with wanting to take it back down. I know this sounds hoky to some, but you being a Christ-follower may understand. Sometimes its in our writing, no matter how small or insignificant we think it may be, that we can reach out to others…isn’t that why any of us write at all? To make an imprint, to touch a life, to change the world? You’re doing that. I also applaud your ability to answer so many of your comments. It shows that you do have and want a connection with people. Keep going. Somebody is reading. I did. And I needed to hear I wasn’t alone in my writing frustrations. So, thank you for your words. God bless.

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    1. Thanks so much, Lisa. I do completely understand. I understand feeling like writing is a gift and that we have a responsibility to use our gifts in the service of others, but what does that really look like and what does that mean in the context of success and publication and readership, etc. I have spent weeks trying to respond to all of the generous comments I received here because like you said, it’s the connection that’s meaningful. We are writing to touch people’s lives and if we can’t deign to interact with the people who are responding then what are we really accomplishing. Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words. It’s so good to hear from someone else who gets it. I hope you can be encouraged to keep up the good work you are doing even when it’s hard. Thanks so much for reading and for your support.

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  19. Reblogged this on DeAnna Ross and commented:
    I know so many writers feeling the same way as this blogger. Yet, look at the people reaching back to her due to this blog. The internet can be a great place sometimes. The point is this: You are not alone and there IS a point to all this “pushing yourself” one that’s so much more real and deep than just the numbers… it’s about human connections. I think the ones who get that are the ones who will really succeed out there. Keep at it Lily. You may very well be ‘the real deal.’ Best wishes to you. ♥

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    1. Thanks for the reblog, DeAnna! I agree – I’ve been so touched and humbled by how people have responded. It would be so easy and understandable for people to read this and say, “Get over yourself. Stop complaining about something you should be thankful for.” I probably deserve a bit of that. But instead I got comment after comment from people who just wanted to say, “Me too. Don’t quit.” It’s been overwhelming in the best way.

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      1. It’s easy to believe the world is full of cynics and critics. Sometimes it feels that way. However, I’ve found that if you give people the chance they quite often prove that to be wrong. Isn’t the internet great that way? 😀

        I hope to keep in touch with you going forward. We all need people to help encourage and support us. You seem like good people and I do try to surround myself with such.

        Take Care!

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  20. “I am afraid of failing, yes, but here is an uglier truth. I am also afraid of hard work. Or rather, I am afraid of hard work that goes unrecognized and unappreciated. I am afraid of 1.6 million people who say, “Your words don’t matter.””

    I think this says it all about all writers! All we can do is keep pushing forward, though it does seem as though it is usually one foot forward, two steps back.

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  21. Lily, Lily, Lily, why are you putting the cart before the horse? Write your book, put that idea down into a storyline. And, then see what your next step is? An agent? A publisher? And perhaps the antidote to self-promoting will arrive at your gate. You write splendidly. Now, why not start there? And don’t let the critic inside your head deter you. (It’s never accurate anyway.)
    Wishing you good luck and many happy days pounding at the keys.

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement! I definitely see what you’re saying. In the past I’d always thought of it that way – let me see if I can even finish something and then I’ll figure out what comes next – but this fall I had an opportunity to work on a book proposal. A friend with an agent told me that if I put together a proposal she would give it to her agent directly. And when I looked through the proposal format, do you know what it was? Marketing. It was pages of questions about how my book would compare with others on the market, why it would be unique, what my previous publications had been and what my plan was for marketing the book. All of that before even getting to the sample chapters. It was completely overwhelming. It seems today that agents and publishers do rely on writers to do more of the legwork when it comes to promoting than they have in the past. Having said that – I think you’re right. I let the daunting parts of the marketing keep me from working on the part I’m truly passionate about. And maybe putting the work in and getting the book written will help the rest seem less overwhelming too. I certainly think it will be more satisfying. I’m making plans for how to carve out time in my daily schedule for book writing. 2015…I think this is going to be the year. 🙂 Thanks for all of your encouragement and good wishes!

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  22. My advice to you would be this: Write that book you’ve been thinking about. For now don’t worry about who will read it or whether or not it will be successful. Stop thinking about your article that went viral and just write. Because when it comes down to it– you are a writer, whether you “feel” like one or not. You are. It’s in your soul, at your core. So just write and don’t worry about anything else. Once you have a full manuscript, then take the next small step toward your goal. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Just write. That’s what we do. We write. Make sense?

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    1. It does indeed make sense. 🙂 I’ve just been talking to my husband about carving out time specifically for book writing. For me, it starts with believing it’s a project worth investing in and worth spending the time on. Luckily for me, my husband is also a writer, so I don’t have to do a lot to convince him. Now it’s just down to convincing myself and getting to work. 🙂

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  23. Pingback: Year in Review: Daring Deeds and Amazing Adventures | Such Small Hands

      3. Can you help me? I’ve checked my stats, and it seems I have lots of readers but no comments or “likes.” Zilch, which I find imposdible. I figure I must have somehow blocked people, or I need to approve responses, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what I’ve done wrong. Can you give this aging Act 3 woman advice? Hee hee, I could use a helping hand and I winging it here. Still love your writing. Thanks, Trudy, Act 3

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  26. I know exactly how you feel. I have a love-hate relationship with Twitter, but it sells more books and promotes my blog posts better than any other medium. It is needs as must. I keep my workload and yes, blogging and social media are work, to a minimum and that helps. All that keeps me going is the love of what I am doing, despite how shallow it feels.

    Keep experimenting. Keep pressing forward. Success takes time to build and comes peppered with failures. At the end of the day, stepping out and taking the risk is better than never having shown up at all.

    The very best of luck. May you find your niche and thrive.

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    1. Thanks so much for your thoughts and your encouragement, Cate. I really appreciate the support from someone else who gets where I’m coming from. I think right now my biggest struggle with even making the social media a useful tool because I don’t feel like I have the personality required to create a Twitter following. I’ve been really blessed with new blog followers over the past few months, but my Twitter followers are pretty few and mostly people who already read my blog, so I haven’t found it to be especially helpful in promoting it. I also think of Twitter and other social media interactions as “work” often, though I feel funny for saying that sometimes. “I’ve got so much work to do today,” referring to responding to comments and questions for my own personal writing projects. 🙂 Anyway, thanks for sharing your story and your encouragement. I really appreciate it!

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      1. I hear what you’re saying about personality. I am not a social butterfly, or an extrovert. However, good content is always swallowed up. Just keep writing a great blog and posting the links a few times a day. It has worked for me. I am nearly at 6000 subscribers now – though that is mainly through me following them and showing an interest first.

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  29. Pingback: Fifty-Two Weeks of Adventure Link-Up: Adventure #1 | Such Small Hands

  30. Hi Lily, as part of this year’s blogging101 course, today’s assignment was to read 5 new topics and 5 new blogs. Just to let you know, I picked yours as one. I would encourage you to never give up!

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  31. Pingback: My Darling Discoverers | Diary of a 21st Century Girl

  32. “But pursuing self-promotion doesn’t feel right to me. Reading someone else’s posts and looking for ways to insert myself and my work into the comments goes against some of my core values of sincerity and authenticity. These are things I’m not willing to compromise on.”

    oh my, you’ve just put to words what I have felt for the longest time ever. It always felt so icky to me the thought of self promotion, making social network accounts just to gain likes, followers, all with the intended purpose of selling a book or whatever- It makes me feel so un-genuine for some reason and so pretentious…

    “Being a successful writer is no longer about craft or talent or art. It’s not about having the deepest insights or the most profound observations to share. It’s often simply about who can shout the loudest. Like high school student council elections, success in the blogosphere is a popularity contest. It’s about who is the most provocative, who is the most visible on social media, who is the most aggressively self-promoting.”

    yes. YES. YASSS! THIS IS SO TRUE, and sadly I honestly don’t think it will change anytime soon. 😦

    But hey, on the bright side you’ve just earned yourself a new follower 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much! It’s great to hear that you relate and understand where I’m coming from. I guess it doesn’t change the situation, but I really like hearing that I’m not the only one who thinks this system is problematic. Thanks for reading and reblogging and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to seeing you more around here!

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  34. I so much relate to this essay. Thank you for putting into words what I am sure many bloggers feel. It seems contrived to try to boost readership by following other bloggers and liking and commenting on posts. After reading a few of your posts , though, I can see that it’s all about authenticity. You are truly someone I want to read and follow. I found a few others last night and this morning who touch me the same way. I don’t have a lot of blogging experience yet (22 posts) but I can usually tell when another blogger follows me in an effort to market their own space. I’m making a commitment not to do that.

    As for whether you should continue … author Sarah Ban Breathnac encourages her readers to find their authentic self and practice whatever talent they have. It doesn’t matter that a million other people may be doing the same thing. No one can do it exactly the way you can do it. From my own perspective, if you touch just one person with your writing, you’ve accomplished what you set out to do.

    Best wishes to you.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Laurie! They really touched me. I’m honored to have you here. Thanks for your encouragement and support of my writing. I really appreciate it. Good luck to you as you delve further into the blogging world. And thanks for the reminder that touching just one person really can be enough. 🙂

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  35. What on earth are you whining about? Recognition maybe? Hmm…if what you write is so much better, than you are validating yourself, no?
    Before the internet, advertising still drove book sales. Many authors, good ones, despise book signings. But they weren’t afraid of hard work.
    You count your good moments, yet toss them aside, as not enough. It is because you wallow in fear and insecurity.
    An agent, a manuscript or going viral again will not solve anything until you stop whining, shed your fear & make your life what you want. It’s a choice.
    Currently, you’ve chosen inadequacy and a lack of meaning.
    Most would feel honored to have made a difference in another persons life. That moment should have propelled you to keep writing. Instead you act if their kind words and gifts were happy meal toys from McDonalds.

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    1. You’re right to some extent and that’s fair. 😉 I’ve had a big change in perspective over the past few months since this was written. I also wrote this in a moment of discouragement, posted it for my then 100+ readers who were mostly personal friends I knew I could whine to and then it ended up being picked by the Freshly Pressed crew. However, what I said about being uncomfortable with the tension between authenticity and self-promotion (via aggressive facebook, twitter, instagram posts, etc ) remains true and that’s true regardless of whether I’m fulfilled by a few faithful readers or looking for many.

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  36. This has really been uplifting, I must confess. I am sure I’ll keep casting my mind back in those moments of discouragement, and just tell myself, don’t give up and keep keeping on.
    Thanks so much for sharing, truly inspiring. Wish you all the best in your career.

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    1. I’m so glad you found this post uplifting and inspiring. I also have to work through moments of discouragement and remind myself not to give up and to see the good things that have come from what I’m doing – and to remember that it really is enough if it makes a difference for one person. Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words.

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  37. Pingback: This Post is Totally Going VIRAL! | Justin Meckes

      1. You’re welcome! Actually, I reblogged posts so I can read it later but I got curious about your blog post and what it’s all about so I have to find it and it lead me to what this post are referring to and I am glad I did. I am enlightened and learned things from it. Thank you for that. Never quit your passion and it will all paid off. God bless you! 🙂

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  39. I understand how you feel; it feels good see some one (another one!) interested in your work. 🙂
    I started blogging about a month ago in order to connect with people who might relate to what I am going through, and perhaps help others with information they may not have otherwise had. I get discouraged because I never get replies/comments.
    My dreams were side-tracked and I free-floating through the changes. guess I just mean to say that perhaps the connections you make with others are your reward; although a little money would be nice. 🙂

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    1. Congratulations on starting your blog and welcome to the wonderful/frustrating world of blogging. I also get discouraged when I post something that I really put my heart into and don’t see much of a response. It can be SO hard. I got some advice from other bloggers who market successfully about really defining what I want my blog to be about and what I want my niche to be, and to some extent I’ve done that, but the truth is I want my blog to be a personal, creative outlet and I want to have the freedom to talk about what’s on my mind and heart without feeling constrained by being a “faith blogger” or “travel blogger” or “expat blogger” or whatever. So maybe that means this blog won’t help me open the door to financial security the way I’d like it to, but like you said, I’ve been changing my perspective a little and have really gained a lot from the connections I’m making with others. And those connections really have been their own reward. Good luck with blogging! Try to stay positive and stick with it, even if it takes a while to gain traction. I’ve been blogging for four years and the majority of my readers have just come in the past 3 months. Sometimes it’s lots of slow work.

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    1. Hi Christopher, Thanks for reading! My best advice to you as far as growing your blog is to put up good content and be sure to tag it well with the topics you are covering. Read other blogs that you admire and participate in comments and conversations on more popular blogs – but be sure that you are really contributing to the conversation and not just saying, “Hey! Go read my blog!” because people are more likely to head to your blog if they feel like you have good things to say than if it seems like you’re only there to talk about yourself. Lots of bloggers do synchroblogs or link-ups where you can post on a similar topic and add the link to their blog. Another great way to get more readers is by guest blogging for other bloggers who write about the same things you do but who have different followers than you do. But first and foremost, the most important thing is just to be writing good, solid posts that will keep the readers you do have and always engaging with readers when they comment or share your stuff – I think it’s really important to let people know that you appreciate them and their input. When people know that you value them as readers they are more likely to stick around. Hope this helps!

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      1. Thank you for the reply! You advice definitely helps and I will keep it in mind. I will try to find other blogs similar to mine.

        Once again thank you for the reply!

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  42. All I have to say is that I feel as if I am you. In addition to this blog, I have read a few other posts and again, I feel as if I am you as I have the same thoughts and the same fears and same struggles with faith…but I know that pressing forward in anything is the only way to fully live. Thank you for your words and sharing your gift!

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    1. I’m so glad to know you can relate. Thanks so much for reading and for your encouragement. I love what you said about pressing onward being the only way to live fully – we can’t let fear keep us from embracing and the living the life we have. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts!

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  45. Here’s some advice from an old lady: If you’re writing because you need validation from others, then you’re writing for the wrong reason.

    Most people assume writing is easy, that publishing a book is the quick path to fame and fortune. They couldn’t be more wrong. Writing is one of the most brutal, competitive professions in existence. The ease of self-publishing has made it even harder for a writer to stand out. Most writers don’t earn enough to live on. The average book earns less than $10,000 and takes two years to write. Statistically, 95% of submissions are rejected. Those that are accepted are usually rejected an average of 6 times before finding a publisher.

    I was a professional musician for over 35 years—not a hobby musician, but an actual working musician who depended on playing music for a living. When I first started out, I was recruited by a band of seasoned professionals. One day, the rhythm guitarist took me aside and asked, “Do you want to be a star, or do you want to be a musician? There’s a difference.” I realized I wanted to be a musician. Three times, I was offered recording contracts by major labels but couldn’t sign because injuries from a car wreck left me unable to withstand the rigors of touring. That didn’t matter. All that mattered was playing my best and entertaining people for a few hours so they could unwind.

    A childhood friend of mine always wanted to be a writer. In high school, she published her work anonymously in the school creative writing magazine, and hid her tears when the other kids made fun of her work. But she kept writing because she loved it so much. For 30 years, she filled cartons with unsubmitted manuscripts, until her family and friends finally said she was good enough to get them published. It wasn’t easy, but eventually she found an agent who steered her toward an editor and got her first contract. She’s on her fourth bestseller now, and her novels have even been translated into foreign languages. Yet if I mentioned her name, it’s unlikely that you’ve heard of her.

    If you’re writing because you want to be rich and famous, then more likely than not, you’ll be disappointed. If you’re writing because you seek attention, you may get a few short bursts of applause but (as you’ve already learned) such fame is almost always fleeting. There’s only one good reason for writing, and that’s to fulfill yourself. So I’d advise you to ask yourself essentially the same question that my old friend asked me all those years ago: “Do you want to be a writer, or do you want to be a star?”

    If you’re writing to nourish your soul, then never stop.

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