hong kong

What I’m Into: September 2018 Edition

This month has been full of somewhat dramatic events in my personal life. Obviously, I moved across the world in August, so much of September involved getting settled into a routine here in Hong Kong, getting used to a new job, and exploring our new home. I’ve been writing a lot about our experiences here over on my new travel/expat living website: Keep Roaming On. I’ve even started a YouTube channel where I’m dabbling with vlogging some of our adventures. If you are interested in reading/watching, please follow me in those places!

What I’m Reading

In spite of all of these other ventures, I’ve still found a good bit of time to read between the typhoon days and during my daily commute. Actually, I think it may be an all-time record for me. I read 14 books in September.

One of my go-to genres for easy reading is the domestic/psychological thriller. I admit that I am often unimpressed with these books, but for whatever reason I keep picking them up. Most books in this genre rely upon a twist of some sort, and I often find the twist either not twisty at all or implausible, which leaves me with a “meh” reaction. But I enjoy how fast-paced they are, and I like trying to figure out what’s really going on. Since I read so many books this month, I’m only going to comment on the ones I particularly liked…spoiler alert, most of the thrillers didn’t make it.

32075853Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal. This was the surprise standout for me this month. I’m not even sure what made me pick it up, but this book was bomb. Erotic stories don’t do much for me (I just can’t take “sexy” descriptions seriously), but the erotic stories in this book are simply a device to talk about so much more. A group of Punjabi widows sign up for a writing class. Their teacher, a young British/Punjabi woman, thinks she will be helping these women to write the stories of their lives, but she is unprepared for the stories they truly want to tell. This is a book about a tight knit immigrant community, about female friendships, and about women who have lived their whole lives without power or agency finding ways to gain those things while still holding onto the traditions and values of their community.

36344555All We Ever Wanted by Emily Giffin. I’ve loved Emily Giffin for years, but I didn’t enjoy her last book (before this one), so I was pleasantly surprised by All We Ever Wanted. While Giffin’s previous books have all had some sort of romance at their core, this one didn’t. I think Giffin’s decision to steer away from that helped her showcase her skills as a storyteller and the strength of her characterizations. This book handles serious issues like how to raise teenagers (particularly sons) in the midst of rape culture and some of the less obvious ways that privilege asserts itself. It’s not a perfect book, but I found it very engaging and I liked it.

27161845-1Here’s to Us by Elin Hilderbrand. Elin Hilderbrand is a new discovery/obsession of mine. I had never picked up her books before because I thought they would all be very chick-lit-y. Actually, the books I’ve read so far combine two of my favorite genres – rich white people problems and stories that look at how multiple members of a family or a community experience one event. This book tells the story of the aftermath of celebrity chef Deacon Thorpe’s sudden death as his three ex-wives and his children come together to say goodbye. To be honest, not that much happens in this book, but what I enjoyed about it was the different characters’ perspectives, interactions, and motivations. And…Nantucket.

 

35832073

Calypso by David Sedaris. David Sedaris is strange and sometimes dark, but undeniably hilarious. This was one of my favorites of his essay collections. I highly recommend listening to it on audio since he reads it himself and his delivery adds a lot to the text.

 

 

 

34189556The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen. This thriller was a rare case where I was surprised by the initial twist AND I thought it worked. Admittedly, I didn’t enjoy the parts of the book that came after the twist as much as the first portion, but it still rates as above average compared to other psychological/domestic thrillers I’ve read recently. It’s the story of a young woman preparing to marry a too-good-to-be-true man while being stalked by his ex-wife. (Or is it?)

 

I also read:

What I’m Watching

Jonathan and I have been watching Better Call Saul, which is a spin-off from one of Jonathan’s favorite shows, Breaking Bad. I’ve never watched a single episode of Breaking Bad, but thankfully it doesn’t really matter for understanding this show. It’s a drama, but it’s the perfect blend of serious and comic and from what I understand, nowhere near as dark as Breaking Bad.

Thanks to my sister-in-law, I also discovered the series Marcella on Netflix. As another British detective show, it filled the hole left by Broadchurch. However, there are only two seasons at this point so now I am back to needing more shows like this.

Jonathan and I went to see Crazy Rich Asians in the theater. It was a unique experience to watch this in Hong Kong since it has an all-Asian cast and is set in this part of the world. I loved it. The books are even better. But I still loved it. We also went to see the latest Mission Impossible movie which was all action all the time and a lot of fun.

What I’m Writing

Most of my writing has been over on Keep Roaming On, where I’ve done posts about the typhoon, some fun weekly posts with observations about daily life here, and posts about hiking in Hong Kong, as well as a few posts about our experiences in Ireland earlier this summer. I also wrote an update here on this blog about my mental health since moving to Hong Kong.

What I’ve Been Up To

I have had lots of daily life adventures getting used to a new city, but it’s also been a month with a lot of ups and downs.

At the beginning of the month, we did an incredibly strenuous, but also beautiful hike up Lion Rock. I thought I was going to die, but it was worth it. Except for the part where we saw the monkeys. Because those things will rip your face off.

90DCE54E-2E6A-4C8C-9455-0BAF3CA3FE22

7C400E0F-C22E-4CB8-A9AF-97AE30C64869

We experienced our first typhoon which also happened to be the strongest recorded typhoon to hit Hong Kong. It was equivalent to a Category 5 Hurricane in the Atlantic and it was awe-inspiring and terrifying. We are so thankful to have been safe and sound and that our home did not suffer any damage.

9CC033FB-3B48-46F4-9113-AD428F51B00E

Typhoon damage outside of our apartment

A few days later, one of my closest friends back in the US had a beautiful baby girl…in her front hallway, 5 minutes after the firemen arrived. Sweet baby girl was in a big hurry to make her entrance, arriving just an hour and a half after my friend first thought, “I think we’re going to have a baby today.”

42278877_10100217417617028_9164535163902754816_o

Emmaline Alma Kroll

Then I learned that my beautiful, healthy 35-year-old cousin had been diagnosed with breast cancer after a routine check-up. After a whirlwind of tests, she had a double mastectomy earlier this week. They are still waiting to decide if she will need follow-up chemo, but all seems to have gone well. Through the whole thing, she has been so brave and strong, immediately wanting to share her story with others to encourage them to be proactive about their own health.

42301808_10156509567673186_4487804867959586816_o

Last weekend we had to leave the country on a visa run, so we took the one-hour ferry ride over to Macau and spent the day wandering around this strange and interesting city where the signs are in Portuguese and Cantonese and the shimmering casinos are just a few streets over from historical church ruins.

It was also Mid-Autumn Festival, a major holiday in the Chinese calendar celebrated with lanterns and moon cakes, so we went down to a lantern display on Hong Kong Island to join the celebrations.

8E6007ED-BFA9-4D9B-A1B9-59C03D0EECAB

This month was full of emotional ups and downs for me as I experienced the danger of the typhoon, the joy of baby Emmaline’s safe arrival and the sadness of not being there to meet her, the shock and the sadness over my cousin’s cancer, and the wonder of exploring a new place.  It’s been a month chock-full of life in all of it’s splendor and all of it’s brutality, and I’ve come to the end of it grateful for the grace and provision I have seen in my life and the lives of many I love this month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Introducing…Keep Roaming On

Faithful friends, today is the day! I am so excited to announce the launch of my new website Keep Roaming On. This site will be dedicated to travel adventures and advice, to feeding your wanderlust (and my own), and to telling the stories of our daily life in Hong Kong and of all the people we meet along the way.

I will still be keeping Such Small Hands active and will continue to post here about topics like reading, faith, mental health that don’t necessarily fit under the general travel/living abroad umbrella.

In the meantime, I would love for you to head over to the new site which already has a few posts up, and follow or subscribe by email if you are interested in what’s going on there. You can also follow Keep Roaming On on Instagram and Twitter for more of a daily dose of life here in Hong Kong and tips from other travels over the past few years. If you have any specific requests for topics you’d like me to cover, please let me know!

https://www.keeproamingon.com

Why We Moved to Hong Kong

In my last post, I gave a brief answer to the very complicated question of why we picked up and moved to Hong Kong. Of course, there are some obvious reasons–we have wanderlust, and the timing was perfect for a new adventure since Jonathan was graduating. We found jobs in Hong Kong that match our interests and skill set. This is likely the last opportunity we will have to live abroad before we’re ready to settle down somewhere. We also have a great opportunity to save money and to travel more. But even as spontaneous and adventurous as I like to think of myself, I could never have made such a huge decision based solely on those things.

On some level, it isn’t anyone’s business but our own, and I don’t feel I owe anyone an explanation, but to my core I believe in the power of truth-telling, even when that truth is ugly.

Our three years in Columbia were unhealthy for us in many ways. We both struggled with our physical health and fitness as well as bigger issues like Jonathan’s knee surgery. I struggled off and on with disordered eating. I had several low points in my mental health (though now, after nearly a year of experimenting, we seem to have found a good treatment solution). We loved our church, but our hectic schedules made it hard to plug in outside of Sunday mornings. Most importantly, these years were not good for our marriage.

For three years, we existed largely in different worlds that overlapped only at the edges. We loved each other, and we lived peacefully together, but we were living separate lives. Jonathan learned and worked and grew and changed in his grad school community and through his hours and hours of dedicated writing. Meanwhile, I threw myself into my job, into nurturing and caring for children in my life and for friends whom I connected with deeply. Both in terms of our actual schedules and in terms of emotional energy, we gave very little to each other. And so we grew and we learned and we changed and we became in ways that we did not share with each other.

In the spring, it became clear that we had a problem that we couldn’t fix with a few date nights or meaningful conversations. We had rooted ourselves into a way of life that did not include one another, and this had taken a toll. We felt disconnected and frustrated, resentful and sad, and, in moments, a little bit hopeless. Something had to change, and in the end, we knew that it would be very difficult to make those changes if we stayed in the same place doing more or less exactly what we had been doing for the past three years.

We always speak of our time in Korea as being both the hardest and best time of our lives. The pictures and the CoT stories cast some glamour and humor over the memories, but there were moments when life there was very difficult. The thing that made it so worthwhile anyway, was how close we were to each other. We were all each other had, and we supported each other, explored together, and grew together in a sweet way.

In Columbia, I had a job that was meaningful and fulfilling and that I worked hard at. It was a job I loved and felt competent in. I had gained the respect of my peers and my superiors and the love of my students. I had a boss who became a dear, dear friend. I had amazing relationships with several families who let me into their homes and their lives to help care for their children. I had a beautiful 14-year-old girl who I loved with my whole heart and whom I took care of  like she was my daughter. I had (have) friends who I love like my own heart. And for once, my family was actually close enough to visit several times a year. I had built a home, and leaving it all behind was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I did not do this casually. I did it because even though those things are important to me, my marriage is more important. My marriage will always be more important. And Jonathan and I had peace that moving away was the best thing for our marriage. We are not running away from our problems. We are taking them with us to a space where we can work on them without the temptation to slip back into the separate lives we had been living.

So here we are in Hong Kong, launching into a new adventure, hand in hand, faces turned toward the same horizon, waiting to see what we will discover next.

Good Morning From Hong Kong…Some Life Updates

Well, friends, it’s been a while, and some things have changed. For starters, I’m writing this sitting in the window of my 6th floor apartment in Hong Kong. Where I live now. As of Wednesday night. (Check out the “sea view.” Really, it’s there! I swear!)

Jonathan graduated with his MFA in Creative Writing at the beginning of May after completing and defending a brilliant novel that served as his Master’s thesis. He started a job search that included local options as well as international ones. At the end of May, we both accepted jobs with the Hong Kong office of a company called I Can Read.

To get some of the FAQ’s out of the way…

When did all of this happen?

It has been a whirlwind, which is why I didn’t do any writing about the process. We applied to the jobs we’re now working at the end of April. We found out we had an official offer at the end of May. I resigned from my job (which only entailed not signing a new contract), and we took a previously scheduled vacation to Ireland and Amsterdam (amazing, btw, but not the point).

48FA57A9-FCA5-446C-AF87-2023058F2C88

Casual Cliffs of Moher Pic

We came back to Columbia for one day, then Jonathan flew to Kansas City to grade AP Literature exams for a week, and I flew to Phoenix to visit my sister.

1EB46A65-797C-4ADB-8147-4EE68E57010B

We did goat yoga in Arizona. Like you do.

My sister and I drove together to Los Angeles to see my youngest sister graduate from fashion school. Then Jonathan and I both flew home, and four days later, he moved to Hong Kong.

I stayed behind for five weeks, wrapping up our lives in Columbia and running a couple of ESL camps at my school. Meanwhile, Jonathan went through training, started working, found an apartment for us, and did a million other things all on his own. Being apart for five weeks was not fun, and it gave me such respect and sympathy for people who regularly have to be away from their spouses.

Last weekend my parents, my sister, and my nephew flew up to Columbia to help me finish up packing and moving my things to a storage unit in town.

AA727A27-BDEE-4A31-AAB9-34DDC9C42967

Best Family in World. End of Story.

On Tuesday morning, they dropped me off at the airport in Charlotte, NC, and on Wednesday night Jonathan (and some people from ICR) picked me up in Hong Kong. I start job training today.

What exactly are you doing there?

We’ve been hired by a company called I Can Read that runs literacy centers throughout Southern Asia. We are both working as literacy teachers. This is not a regular school – the best thing I can liken it to is something like a Sylvan Learning Center or other specialized tutoring center. The classes are held in the afternoon and evenings and on Saturdays. The entire focus is teaching kids to read in English using the phonemic awareness program I Can Read has created. We teach reading lessons to small groups of students ages 3-12, or sometimes just to individual students.

The company was started in Singapore by some Australians and has now expanded into Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand, China, Hong Kong, and Myanmar. They have only been in Hong Kong for about two years, but they are growing rapidly. Jonathan and I work at two different centers in different locations in Hong Kong, but we are doing more or less the same thing.

Why did you move abroad again?

There is no simple answer to this question, and in fact, I think it warrants its own blog post. The short version is that Jonathan had finished his program, and it was a natural time of transition since he was looking for a job anyway. We have been interested in living abroad again ever since we returned from Korea, so when an opportunity came up for us in Hong Kong, we took a leap.

But what about your mental health?

82EBFECF-09EE-432E-A6FB-3ECDF003D0F1

Need I say more?

Are you going to write about it?

Umm…heck yes. I am actually setting up a new website/instagram/twitter and possible youtube channel for all the living abroad and travel goodness. I will keep lilyellyn.com for writing about things like mental health, reading, and faith wrestling. I will post a big announcement here when the new site goes live, so be on the lookout!

For now, my goals are to get over jet lag, stay awake through training, and start devising a plan for how to make friends with the old ladies who do Tai Chi in the courtyard every morning. More to come!